i do not have herpes

something's cooking...

and it's a crappy romantic comedy. set in a very specific world of puns.


i bet there was a long list of pun taglines that weren't chosen.

• You don't have to always wait to be seated.
• Try one of life's specials.
• Today's special might be love.
• Do you have the recipe for a lasting relationship?

create your own. it's fun.

no john. no.

something about travolta in hairspray makes me throw up in my mouth a little. so i made this.

don't blink.

my television debut. i'm the girl at dippin' dots.



halfway home was a hilarious show on comedy central with LOTS of talented people. sadly, it will only be one season.

you can not take liberties with the wizard of oz

i just went to see wicked. it's highly recommended, playing all over the country, and about witches. sounds great even to someone like me who isn't a fan of musicals. i get embarrassed for the actors when they sing dialogue. there's no reason to sing "hello, how are you? i'm ok, just real busy with schoolwork..." just talk normally and then sing the songs. it's kind of like how we have to experience sadness to appreciate happiness. i need to experience talking to appreciate singing. yins and yangs people.

SPOILER ALERT: (does anyone care?)
as i understood it, wicked was going to be a prequel to the wizard of oz. the musical starts off that way, but then goes right through the wizard of oz and changes key elements of the story to suit the new musical. you can't do that! the wizard of oz is a classic!

a note: prior to seeing this i did not have such strong feelings about the wizard of oz. but let me list some of the atrocities:

• the wicked witch is not wicked. she is misunderstood for being green. uh, kermit already took care of that.
• glinda the good witch is sort of like paris hilton but bitchier and dumber.
• the wizard is an asshole.
• the wicked witch wasn't really mad at dorothy.
• dorothy doesn't melt the wicked witch, the wicked witch staged her own death so she could run away with the scarecrow!
  

WHAT?!

i will now pause for your own outrage to begin.

patricia heaton is not trustworthy

i don't like patricia heaton. she can't be trusted. not b/c she opposes stem cell research, not because she would host a special called "thou shalt laugh", and not because a youtube search for her results in various shots of her cleavage. though i do dislike her for all of those reasons, but her worst offense is that she reads her children's diaries.

a while back, patty was on conan discussing her children. she brought up the fact that she reads her kid's diaries. conan questioned her and was immediately shot down as being stupid for not wanting to invade children's privacy. then she started to tell what was in the diary. in detail. on national television.

she must be stopped.

via satellite

i watch television via satellite. so since i'm in LA, cable channels come through on eastern standard time. at about 1am (i'm still up and watching tv), it's 4am EST so the cable channels start showing their paid programming. i occasionally check in to see what the masses are buying.

i stumbled upon this. "rejuvenique" and linda evans. this charming mask helps you look younger. it also helps you look like a murderer.